The Illusion of Light: How We Create Narcissism by Repressing the Negative

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Introduction:

In a time when negativity is no longer allowed to exist—not in thoughts, not in words, let alone in public conversations—a dangerous vacuum arises. We think we embrace the light by banishing the darkness, but forget that both need each other to give meaning to our existence. What happens when we structurally refuse to see the uncomfortable? When every form of criticism, anger, sadness, or discomfort is dismissed as "inappropriate," "toxic," or "dangerous"?

The shadow denied = the shadow uncontrollable

In the 1980s, Swiss psychoanalyst Adolf Guggenbühl-Craig brought a different voice to the narcissism debate. For him, narcissism wasn't an isolated problem affecting only one "type of person," but rather a symptom of a collective imbalance. A culture that denies the negative breeds superficiality. And where superficiality reigns, charisma is confused with authenticity.

By banishing all negativity from our experience, we create the perfect breeding ground for narcissism. Charm is given free rein, nuance is cast as suspect, and discomfort is avoided as if it were a contagious disease. All of this makes empaths—those who still seek connection and dare to feel—extra vulnerable to narcissistic dynamics.

The ban on the negative is not enlightenment, but repression

These days, it seems like you're inviting a dark fate upon yourself if you say or think something negative. As if you're "manifesting" unhappiness by honestly addressing what doesn't work, what hurts, what rubs you the wrong way. But this cultural cramp doesn't bring healing, only distance. Because if pain is no longer allowed to exist, everyone is left alone with their suffering. Then comes a society where people no longer dare to speak out, for fear of social exclusion—or worse: for fear of being branded as "negative."

Narcissism as a collective product

Narcissism is often portrayed as an individual problem: a personality disorder, a flaw in character. But what if it's also a societal product ? What if, by yearning for only light, only positivity, we inadvertently create the monster we fear? Narcissists thrive in environments where inner work—confronting pain, limitation, grief—is systematically avoided. They capitalize on what no one dares to feel, and are therefore celebrated.

The price of one-sided positivity

The price we pay for this collective denial is high. People become alienated from their inner truth. Guilt runs rampant, because those who feel bad think there's something wrong with themselves. Empaths become cynical or exhausted in relationships where they're constantly manipulated. And meanwhile, loneliness grows. Not despite the positivity culture, but because of it.

Conclusion: Back to the full life

Those who truly take responsibility, for themselves and for others, also dare to face the difficult. Not to remain in the dark, but to illuminate it with presence, honesty, and courage. We can only heal—as individuals and as a society—when we allow all of life to enter. And that begins with a new way of seeing. Not with quotes or titles as a shield, but with an open heart and a sharp mind. These are, in the long run, the only true authority.